June 28
5:02 PM--After a long day of grilling, swimming, and drinking, we go back to my apartment to sleep, shower, and get ready for the evening. I don't get to sleep because I have a lot to do still.
6:07 PM--I realize how helpless I am. I text Christa and tell her how much I wish she was here to help me with my hair and makeup. She tells me to suck it up, that's why Tom is there. Tom is passed out on the couch.
6:45 PM--Tom finally wakes up from his stupor and decides he wants to shower. I'm getting impatient. We are supposed to pick up allison by 7:10.
7:03 PM--Tom is still in the shower.
7:06 PM--We pick up allison. Tom decides to call Christa to get upset about the makeup and jewelry story. Upon hearing her voice, he forgets entirely what he is supposed say and ends up asking her random, assinine questions.
7:25 PM--We arrive at BWW's. I am bouncing off walls at this point. Amanda calls me to see if we are there yet and I tell her where we are sitting.
7:28 PM--The waitress gives me a number and tells us that way we can shift around as we please. I wonder how often people just decide to move around.
7:33 PM--Amanda arrives with her crew in tow. This includes Chrissy, Jon, Adam, and...omg it can't be. I cover my mouth and hear someone say, "Whoa, Lindsey, what's wrong?"
7:34 PM--I am on my feet, hugging my best friend. Maybe it's the excitement or maybe it's the alcohol, but I am nearly crying inside a very crowded restaurant. Apparently my entire bus crowd has been in on the surprise for the last month. I was the only one who didn't know Christa was coming.
7:40 PM--I break the number rule and am already sitting across the restaurant by my friends from Theta. I annouce to them I will not be taking shots tonight. I think mixed drinks will be plenty for me. I wave around my Caribbean martini for emphasis.
8:03 PM--Back at my real seat, Christa asks how many drinks I am going to be having so she can make sure I don't drink too much. We agree on 5. I also tell her the no shot rule.
8:06 PM--A shot is delivered in front of me. My friend Leah, who happened to be out with her boyfriend, sent me a shot of Patron. Christa likes tequila but says it would be rude of me to give this away. I take the shot.
8:07 PM--No more alcohol. I pass my martini to Christa, who downs it.
9:15 PM--The bus arrives and the driver has a few ground rules for me. Namely, if someone pukes in my bus, I pay an extra $100. He would like us all to sit down, but if we are dancing or standing while the bus is in motion, we are at our own risk. Naively, I assure him we will be pretty tame.
9:28 PM--Why is the bus moving so fast? He is driving like a mad man...isn't he? Oh good, Amanda thinks he is too. My bacardi peach is tasting good. I spill some on myself, get mad, and pass it to Christa.
9:34 PM--At the Turf. Christa buys me a shot. I tell her I don't want the whole thing. So I take half. She takes one and a half. Hey, this could work. But no more shots.
9:47 PM--Nick from work arrives. He tells me he will buy me a shot. I say no. He says how about half of one?
9:49 PM--Nick is a liar. That was a whole shot. Lindsey is an idiot. She's drunk, not blind.
10:04 PM--Too much alcohol in too little time. I cut myself off from Dempsey's. Kristy sits by me because the girl who is supposed to be watching me is buying me more and more alcohol. Kristy brings me a bowl of popcorn. And quickly becomes my new best friend.
10:42 PM--We decide to walk to the Bismarck. Kristy cautions me that I probably shouldn't have any booze here because it's really strong.
10:44 PM--Christa finds out it's a 2 for 1 deal. She buys me a screwdriver. I drink about half, and pass it to Christa. She and Allison finish it.
10:46 PM--My second drink, an amaretto sour, comes. I just pass it to Christa. We are leaving soon.
10:48 PM--Time to go? Oh good, Christa's done with that amaretto sour. Kristy looks concerned. Why is Kristy concerned? I lead Christa out of the bar. She is sad. She says she should be dragging me around, not the other way around.
Somewhere in the AM--Okay...no more booze. My watchwoman is now drunker than I am. Kristy makes me practice what I am going to tell people when they try to buy me more shots. "Meagen Essen is sober." That's not going to work? Try something else? "Meagen Essen is sober...give it to her."
Ten minutes later--Allison asks me on a scale of 1-10 how drunk I am. I think carefully and then announce 8. Christa scoffs at me. "She's a 5. Which would make me about a 12." Oh boy. Allison buys her and Christa another shot.
Thirty seconds later--Christa has had too much. This time I take the other half of her drop shot. I hear Kristy say, "Oh well" behind me.
Two minutes later--Water. Someone has to have water for me.
One minute later--St. Kristy comes in with a large glass of water and two straws. I down it and pass it to Christa who laughs at me and says I'm weak.
Ten minutes later--We are back at the Empire. It looks scary. Christa, Meagen, Allison and I retreat into the bathroom for a photo shoot (Editor's note: To see photos from said shoot, please visit facebook). Christa and I make a pact to go vandalize Ben's, this guy who was an ass to her, car with saran wrap. Allison says this happened to her before and that it was mildly inconvenient. Perfect. We get mildly emotional when I tell her I almost cried at BWW's. She looks like she's about to cry, and starts to hug me. Then someone walks in. That's enough of that.
Two minutes later--oooo....that's a safari video game. I tell Christa this one's on me. We load our plastic guns and go hunt the great wild...um...wildebeast? Christa chose a wildebeast?
After the video game--Someone hands Christa a bottle of water. She splashes it on everybody. "I made it rain on them ho's." Back on the bus. Lime vodka? Why not. Someone wants me to dance? Of course. I'll be careful.
Two songs into it--Hey...I know Spanish...Meagen knows Spanish...We decide not to talk English anymore. Then we teach Christa how to say bad phrases to some boy she is texting. La pecha del mono. When she asks how to spell the words, I answer in Spanish. That doesn't help her much.
Noticing--Wait a minute. Tom Merkel is passed out cold. That's not gonna work. For the rest of the night, I shout "TOM MERKEL!" as loud as I can whenever I see him passed out. Then I giggle.
Halo--I like this song. I start dancing. Christa starts dancing. We sing to each other a little bit. Then she runs laps around the seats while the bus is in motion. This seems like it might violate those rules from so long ago.
Ben's house--Christa and I want to get out. But we settle for shaking our fists at him and promise we are going to come back with supplies in tow as soon as someone takes us home.
Winding down--Who would appreciate a text from me...umm...HAYLEE! so i text "i love you" to her. Yup. That should do it.
2:30 AM--The bus takes us home. We wake up Tom. I'm still feeling quite amazing. As is Christa. Who starts tearing up as we walk into the apartment. Welcome home.
2:48 AM--Christa and I are sprawled on the kitchen floor and decide it might be fun to have a photo shoot. We do so. Then Troy goes to bed. I want to sleep by Christa.
After peeing--So where's Christa? Not in her bed, my bed or the living room. I just came from the bathroom. But maybe...?
Finding Christa--There she is, laying in her closet. I grab my things and lay beside her. I give her a blanket, which she calls a "comfy-fluffy." We giggle and talk about the night. We are sorry we didn't get to saran wrap the car, but all in all, it was successful. She says she can't believe I ever thought she would miss my birthday.
4:55 AM--I don't feel well. My stomach is a little gross. I'm a little scared that I'm going to be sick. Christa is asleep next to me. I am about 5 seconds away from waking her up...I am convinced that I need her. But I decide to relax and end up falling asleep.
10:04 AM--Good morning. I sit up. I have a headache like it's nobody's business. Time to start the hydration. Eventually I text Haylee for her expert advice. Greasy food definitely was the right decision.
What a night. Whew.
This is the best birthday blog ever!! (I just read it now after that much time has gone by) :)
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