Okay...so if you are lucky enough to have seen the AMP energy walk of no shame commercial, you will understand this perfectly. If you haven't, stop. Go to YouTube. Look up "Walk of No Shame". Watch it, then come back and see us. Christa and I wrote our own words to this work of musical genius. Below, you will find a glossary of unfamiliar words and people. Anything in bold is glossarized. Don't worry about it if you don't find it as funny as we did. You can't all be as awesome as we are. So without further ado:
Lindsey and Christa's Walk of No Shame.
When you wake up in the morning, in an unfamiliar place
And you can't remember where or when, let alone a face.
So call up the DPD and claim the idea wasn't yours…
But they might call bullshit when they find out you're a whore.
Oh I will not be ashamed! To make up cases of assault and rape!
Your best friend has it all on tape!
Oh how I'll push through the day! To sleep with a guy in the furnace room
Then push him away with a broom.
Oh I will not be ashamed!
I stayed out pretty late, binge drinking with my friend.
Now I know that guy was on "Most Wanted" and CNN.
Every noise is too loud, and I cannot find my car.
But me and that groomsman, we got pretty far.
Oh we will not be ashamed! To vomit in the kitchen sink
And give that guy the point and wink!
Oh how we'll push through the day! My mother found me on the floor
I don't want vodka anymore!
Oh we will not be ashamed!
So I'll drag myself to bed, just waiting for the dawn,
Luke Powers' under the covers, and I have to say "Get gone!"
But he doesn't understand that, and my stomach turns.
Because he starts to cry, like his roommate Cody Burns.
Oh we will not be ashamed! Waking up in a different shirt…
My eyes and my vagina hurt.
Oh how we'll push through the day! I thought I had sex with James Bond
But this morning discovered it was Tall Blonde
Oh we will not be ashamed!
We have learned our lesson
Time and Time again,
But if you're buying alcohol,
We'll do it all again….
Do it all again.
DPD (n). 1. Slang for "Dickinson Police Department." 2. The most inefficient law enforcement department in the country. They are far more concerned with giving out minors and headlight warnings than catching any vandals the city might have.
Furnace Room (n). 1. Freddy Krueger's lair. 2. Current residence of DSU Bluehawk football player.
Groomsman (n). 1. Gentleman very important to a man getting married. 2. Male specimen often times twice the age of girl he is interested in, with no direction in life. Follows bridesmaid home and makes out with her in her parents' hot tub.
Kitchen Sink (n). 1. A place where dishes are most often washed. 2. A shoulder-level toilet. Also known as a fountain.
Point and Wink (v). 1. An action irresistable to all men and most women. Requires more than fair share of alcohol to complete successfully. see http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2042522&id=29417057/photo.php?pid=31100407&id=29417057 If this doesn't work, go to Jonathan Taylor's Album NDSU Homecoming 51
Floor (n). 1. a surface found in every room in the house, most specifically the bathroom. Often more comfortable than bed.
Luke Powers (n). 1. kidnaps unsuspecting freshmen 2. See "Gremlin"
Cody Burns (n). 1. See "toxic"
vagina (n). 1. Gateway to Hell. 2. See also "mound" (That's for you, Layne)
James Bond (n). 1. Smooth, debonair, man who always gets the ladies. Looks incredible clothed or otherwise.
Tall Blonde (n). 1. Not James Bond. 2.Freakishly tall football player who lives three doors down. Scared to death of most women, and quickly runs away if one gets too close. Goes by the name of "Matty."
Do it (v). 1. Not necessarily the act of having sex. But maybe.
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