Happy 125th Belfield! 125 years, and still rockin' with your relatives...
Belfield had their 125th Birthday Celebration. For those of you not familiar with southwest ND, Belfield is 20 miles west of Dickinson, and known as the inbred capital of the county. At least, that's what we like to tease Chris, Courtney's boyfriend who grew up there, about. So Troy and I decided to stop.
Belfield decided to celebrate said milestone with a beer garden/street dance/ laser show. Yes. They went all out and got lasers. Bravo, Belfield. It was quite the event, but really, it was typical to any sort of small-town, western ND gathering. There was loud music, the ground was littered with beer cans, and there was an old couple threatening to just bust out wild sex right near us.
Of course, everyone was plastered. It's not every day your town has a birthday party, I guess. It was only supposed to last until midnight, until the band leader shouts, "Who wants to hear one more? Or four more?" Perfect tactic. Get all the drunk locals fired up so if someone tries to shut the band down, they have a small militia. However, they weren't exactly prepared, because when the crowd got excited for more, it took them a minute to decide what to play. As Guitar Hero once told me, ALWAYS have the encore planned. I would like to add that planning is especially important when you are gonna ask the crowd if they want an encore.
They tell us they have a newer one for us. And then bust out, "Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven. I don't know if Fargo is just that far ahead of the times or if Belfield finally realized that there is more to life than "Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy" but I have definitely heard that song for over a year.
So here I am in a beer garden, where there is one cop acting as a security guard(probably drunk, too. Why should he be deprived of his town's birthday?), a bunch of drunks with dance moves to make Joey Fatone cry, and a couple of children under the age of 8. At this point, I'm feeling a little left out. My parents never took me to beer gardens and got drunk in front of me. I never had that feeling of 'Why is mom dancing on that speaker?'
The band strikes up "Crazy Bitch"-Buckcherry. Good song for those toddlers at the picnic table. Which is when the laser show REALLY gets going. All it is, is a tarp in back, and the laser moves around and never really shows a picture. Till this song. It spells out the words "Sex, Drugs, and Lasers: All Legal!" and then "well drugs, aren't but how about sex?" Which it flashes for a good minute. Now, I don't have a whole lot of expertise in this area, but when you're drunk, you release a couple inhibitions...and you probably are likely to listen to the lasers. Something, if from Belfield, you've probably never seen before
And then the laser show turns into a strip tease.
Yeah, you read that correctly. There was a laser woman on the screen who was posing seductively and taking off all her clothes. Two points for Belfield. Nobody has ever done a porn laser show before. Very classy.
Back in Dickinson, it's now after 3AM. I have a couple of people in my car who would definitely blow if breathalyzed. I generally try and be cautious...my DD days would be over the minute I got my friend a minor. I turn onto Main. It's a four lane road. Since nobody is coming, or even on the street, I turn into the far lane. Troy immediately starts lecturing me that I am just like the rest of the Dickinson drivers, thinking I can skip a lane. He and Jon tell me about a friend that got pulled over for that.
Cue red and blue flashing lights and a siren. I am in disbelief. I don't know where this guy came from. I must have been speeding without realizing it. Nope. When I roll down my window, the cop begins to tell me that they have two lanes, but I need to get into the close lane before making a lane switch. Then he proceeds to tell me he was getting sleepy so he figured he would pull me over. Thanks, DPD. So glad I could help keep your finest awake.
As he's running my license, Troy whispers, "Do you want me to do the I-Told-You-So Dance?" Which really is ironic, actually. I do feel a little better about our cops though, knowing my friends were able to get out of a minor the other night...how, you ask? Easy. Just tell the cop you're 21. Simple as that. Poor DPD. I hate to be there the day they realize there are liars in this world. And maybe that cop wouldn't have been so bored if he would have been to Belfield that night. It was the place to be.
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