Well, my friends, it's been a long time, and so I decided it was again time to dole out my infinite wisdom...mainly because I started receiving menacing myspace comments due to my lack thereof, thank you very much, Troy. I wish I could tell you about the fabulous life I have been leading, but that would be either exaggerated or a downright lie. My life consists of studying and more studying with the occasional break for meals. But so is the life of a nursing student. There are certainly special people in this program, and I figured why not let THEM speak with you. So, without further ado, the words of my friends in the nursing program.
"I work at a nursing home, where one lady gets 1000 mg of tylenol a day. So when I came home, I wanted tylenol because I had a headache. The back said I can take two. But what if I want to take 5?" Yup. You just keep popping tylenol. maybe it will work faster than just the two for a minor headache. who knows. This question was immediately followed by "One time I took four valium and it had no effect on me. What do you think that means?" I don't know, because I'm not a pharmacist, but if I got a vote, I'd say she should move away from valium towards horse tranquilizers.
"Abortion is wrong unless you have a very good reason." "Yeah, like if my baby was going to die anyways, I'd want to just abort them so I didn't have to be sad" "Yeah, but I don't think that down syndrome counts, because my best friend has that."You can have whatever views you choose ..ion, and I'm not here to debate that. But last I checked, down syndrome generally wasn't fatal. It's a good thing that she decided not to kill her down syndromed best friend. How nice of her.
"Who knows how to test for prostate cancer?" "A colonoscopy!" This is one of my personal favorites. Colonoscopy even has the organ it is used for in its name. But we NDSU nursing students, we aren't too chicken to hazard a guess. Even if it is blatently wrong. Don't judge.
This next one doesn't come from my school, but it's also special. A nosocomial infection is one that gets contracted while you are in the hospital. "So does that mean if you go to have your gall bladder out, and you have diabetes, that diabetes is a nosocomial infection?" Yup. You think you're going just for a routine procedure when badaboom! you get diabetes. What the hell.
Here's a little tip for anybody, regardless of your major. When giving oral presentations, try to know how to pronounce every word you're going to say. If it's something you've never heard of, try your best. But when the word is microbial, pronounced mi-CRO-bi-al, something that many know, try and NOT say "mi-cro-BYE-ale." Just a thought.
We just passed our first skill of our nursing careers: handwashing. While you are thinking, 'holy shit, I too could be a nurse' hold on just a minute. There is much more to it than that. We have to not only wash our hands, but dry them too! So we nurses, we studied hard and asked all the right questions. "Will you dock me if I do not get enough soap and need to take more?" My teacher actually laughed at her. It was magical. Especially when she had the gall to ask "Will you dock me if I use too many paper towels?"
So that's why I've been so busy. We nursing students have been solving the world's problems one day at a time. Don't worry about it. We gotcha covered. Unless you have prostate cancer.
No comments:
Post a Comment