1. "But I can call my dad, right? I'm sure he wouldn't care."
2. "Do you think I can handle one more shot?"
3. "I'm so sorry for all those times I was mean to you." "You weren't mean to me." "Ooops....never mind."
4. "Wait. Where did my pants go?"
5. "I think someone had sex on your coat."
6. "She hates me. So I texted her three times and told her I loved her."
7. "Yup. The bathroom sink was definitely turning in circles."
8. "THAT looks like someone on the Titanic getting seasick. I'm going to film it."
9. "Lay on the floor. The cops can't know you are sober and here."
10. "Someone touched my boob! Erin, it was you! I am not a lesbian!"
11. "Tuck tuck. Tuck tuck. Good as new."
12. "It's like a rollercoaster! We must be going 60 miles an hour! 25? Oh. 25."
13. "Birthday Girl gave me a lapdance!"
14. "Can you please just call the cops and turn me in?"
15. "I'm clean! I'm clean! You have herpes!! EWWW! Can I call you Herp?"
16. "No, really. I can just kiss you on the cheek. That would be okay."
17. "But is she really missing with that guy, or is she just asleep?"
18. "You must be drunk. I don't care that you had 4 sips. You are wasted. I can tell these things."
19. "No for real. If you value her virginity, you will not let her go back to that party."
20. "I am not being hoochy!" *Slap*
All of the above are courtesy of friends of mine while they were under the influence of alcohol. Not only do they always keep me entertained, but they have provided fun situations for me to dig us out of. Luckily for all of us, nothing terrible ever occured. Unfortunately, I'm going to protect their anonymity. And I'm sure there will be plenty more where this came from. So thanks Class of '06! I'm proud of you guys!
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