Well ladies and gentlemen, Amanda and I have finally turned 21. And you are about to get a treat. I have never written a blog from events that occured while I was drunk. Usually I leave those to others. But since it was my birthday, and since it was a blast, I think it would be okay. It also is getting two written blogs. So sit back and enjoy. And get excited, because I can now go out with you.
June 27
1:00PM--Chrissy and I go shopping. I have decided my birthday jeans are not going to work, and she needs a swimsuit. We then had some lunch. I found out that the two Sarahs are coming to surprise Amanda. I tell her how I love birthday surprises but that I have never been surprised. I am just that good.
5:30PM--Troy and Tom arrive. Tom buys bullets at Scheel's and makes a large point to tell me that you have to be 21 to own these bullets and so I should sit back and take notes. Tom does not get carded. Tom finds out you only have to be 18.
6:30PM--We get to the Olive Garden. Troy and Tom make a big deal out of trying the wine and getting alcoholic drinks. When the waiter is gone, I'm drinking out of them anyways. Oh well.
6:45PM--I start choking on a pepper in the salad. It was stuck just right and I couldn't breathe. I look at Troy for help and he giggles and goes, "I never took CPR." I think this is the last thing I am about to hear.
6:46PM--I can breathe again. No thanks to Troy. Or Tom, who is apparently a lifeguard.
8:12PM--We arrive at Happy Harry's Bottle Shop. Troy and Tom pick up drinks for everyone. Including me. What the hell. It's my birthday.
10:20 PM--After two Bacardi Peach drinks, I stand up. It feels funny. Oh fabulous.
11:10 PM--I want to learn Thriller for my party bus. Because, you know, everyone is going to be way impressed. However, I settle for waving my arms around to Michael Jackson's Free Willy song.
11:59 PM--What the hell. Let's do a shot of blackberry brandy.
June 28
12:05 AM--I'm shouting. Why am I shouting? Isn't Amanda's roommate sleeping?
12:16 AM--I don't understand why everyone is laughing at everything I'm saying. I am not usually this funny. I beg Troy, who probably has had more than me at this point, to drive me home.
12:17 AM--Troy walks me back inside and tells me we haven't even eaten breakfast yet. Whatever I said was met with giggles again.
12:29 AM--We notice the cops drive by. Amanda and I are afraid of getting minors. We go hide in the back bedroom. The boys laugh at us again.
1:06 AM--Jon calls Christa. He rubs it in a little that she isn't here. She calls me my mother. I grab Jon's cell phone and try to hang it up.
1:07 AM--I can't figure out what button it is. I hand the phone back. Christa makes fun of me for not being able to figure out the phone. I take it away again and want to throw it.
1:08 AM--Troy calls me Christa. I hand the phone back and pout.
2:30 AM--We go to IHOP for breakfast. There are two cops giving sobriety tests outside. Great.
2:35 AM--Our waitress tells us how much she hates cops since she got 6 DUIs, two within one month. I'm not entirely certain she is sober right now.
2:47AM--Jon orders a pork steak. None of us know what that is, including our waitress. He does not get to live this down.
3:30AM--We head back to my house. Tom crashes on the couch and Troy decides to take a shower. I go to bed, because it's going to be a long day.
3:36AM--Troy gets outta the shower and so I go sit on his bed. We decide to talk for a few minutes.
5:01 AM--The sun is coming up. Tom is snoring. It's really time for bed.
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